The Journey Begins Here

Two days until departure.  Two days! Queue Phil Collins music: I've been waiting for this moment... for all my life....

In two days I leave for Southeast Asia.  Five weeks total, spread between Laos and Vietnam with a just a little sprinkle of Bangkok.  Why am I going to Asia? To topple the communist regime of course.  Finish what we started.  Assassinate Colonel Kurtz. And if I can squeeze a little play in, I would like to ride an elephant and feed it a banana.

For reals, this trip is pure leisure.  But the answer to why Asia--and specifically why Laos/Vietnam--really goes back to my buddy Tony Tran. Tony, you see, is Super Asian. Just google image Tony Tran and you'll see about 30 pages of funny asian people with the same haircut. It's a common name, but technically Tony is unique.  Tony's birth certificate reads "Anthony Thony Tran", because his parents wanted his middle name to be Tony and thought the abbreviated version was spelled Thony like it is in Anthony.  Hah, that's so asian.  We poke fun at Thony all time, but it's friendly and playful.  After all, we wouldn't want him to get mad and eat our dogs.

Tony's mom is from Laos, and his dad from Vietnam. I don't know the full story, but his parents fled here sometime in the 70's.  I believe the story goes Tony's dad lived in North Vietnam--the communist side--and was going to be drafted.  And somehow he ended up here, probably broke and speaking no English.  I'll skip the rags to riches story because I don't know the details, but nowadays the Tran's are doing quite well. They even bought Tony a new Honda Civic SI for him to look more Asian in.

Anyway, I met Tony in highschool and going to his house was always like a little adventure. The first thing you always notice when you go in is the smell. For lack of a better word, I'd describe it as "Asian."

And then there is the food. Oh god the food. Growing up, the best days were when Tony's parents made eggrolls or pho (vietnamese noodle soup). Asian hospitality is truly amazing--Tony's parents have always been extremely generous to me and I'm very grateful to them. Typically, Tony's mom will insist that we eat more, and more, and more, and she'll continue to bring out different foods until we're pleasantly slumped over in our chairs, unable to contemplate anything other than moving to the couch.  And then she'll bring us more food.

There is always a steady rotation of extended family over at Tony's. It's exactly like Gran Torino. There are all manner of aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews. His maternal grandparents live with him and make fun of us in Lao as we try to eat spicy foods and fumble with chopsticks--Tony says they have nicknames for all of us but won't tell me what mine is.

And so over the years we've always joked about going to Laos and Vietnam. Tony still has family there in both countries. In fact, his parents built a vacation home in Laos a few years back that looks like a massive Columbian drug lord mansion.  His dad showed me a picturebook of it being built step by step once.

"I only pay them two dollah. Two dollah per person," Tony's dad laughs.

"Wow, two dollars an hour?"

"Nonono, two dollah a day!"

It's been a fantasy ever since. I love the food.  It's one of the cheapest areas in the world.  And if Tony's family is any indication, I'll love the people.  And so somehow it all just came about this year.  I worked my ass off over winter break to pay for plane fare, and now it's paid off.  Two more days to wait, and then we fly...

I'm not sure whats in store for us.  We start with two weeks in Laos with three days of Bangkok in there somewhere. In Laos we have almost nothing planned under the assumption that whatever we read in a guidebook isn't going to be nearly as cool as what Tony's native family can show us.  The only thing I do know is that I'll be going to the General of Laos son's wedding.  Yes, seriously. Don't ask me how it happened. It's going to be surreal. 

Then three weeks in Vietnam. Saigon, bustling mega-metropolis.  Phu Quoc, remote untouched beach island paradise.  Da Nang and Hoi An-- more cities. Hanoi, grungy capital of the north. Halong Bay, world heritage sight and stunning natural beauty.

It's going to be a blast.  (Unless we all get diarrhea and shit our brains out.  Which is a distinct possibility).