Lao Food

If you asked me before I left what I was most excited for, I would've answered FOOD with no hesitation

This is me Not Fucking Around

I am a believer in Anthony Bourdain's philosophy that to understand a culture is to understand its food. Remarkable things happen when you share a meal with someone, even if you can't speak a single word in common. You create a certain shared ground that's hard to establish otherwise. And if you have a translator or can piece together a few bits here and there, the conversation flows so much easier over a shared meal. Easy to make friends with food.

But let's be real--eating is also hedonism. If gluttony is a sin then I'll see you in hell, because I was stuffing my fat face NONSTOP. I've never eaten so much in my life. One of the big things you notice here is everything is FRESH.

Simple and delicious

That chicken you're eating at the restaurant? They probably killed it themselves that day, or bought it directly from the person that did. There are no supermarkets in Laos, and refrigeration is expensive. Local outdoor markets crop up everywhere with fresh meat, vegetables, fruits. Everything is made fresh to order.

Also, notice the lack of food pretension. You don't always eat with your hands in Laos, but it's perfectly acceptable to. I was initially confused over whether to use chopsticks, fork, spoon, hands, whatever... until I figured out no one really gives a shit. There is probably an ideal way to do it, but you do what works for you.

And one more thing... it's CHEAP. Order to your hearts content, it's hard to ring up a bill of more then $6 a person if you're going to the right places. A great meal is EASY to come by for $3 or $4 (obligatory beer included of course). A bowl of noodles? Probably about $2. Fruit? We're talking like 50 cents a kilo (2.2 pounds).

Like most of Asia, you see a lot of grilled meats (chicken, beef, pork, buffalo, duck), fish (grilled or in soup), noodle soups, etc.

Honestly some of the best chicken/fish I've ever had.

Vietnamese style Pho Bo (beef noodle soup). Usually breakfast and late-night drunk food.

 Two of the things that seemed to be unique to Laos were sticky rice and spicy papaya salad. Sticky rice was eaten at pretty much every meal and is used in everything. You grab it with your hands and use it to sandwhich bits of meat, you dip it in sauces, you absorb broth with it, etc. It turns up in some surprising places.

Ice cream on a bed of sticky rice

And then there was the fruit. Oh god the fruit.

Typical fruit market---you see them everywhere.

I call these Lumpy Apple Fruits. Possibly my favorite.

Dragon Fruit

Rambutan

Spiky Butt Fruit

The Spiky Butt Fruit was interesting because no one in Tony's family had ever seen them before. We bought them in Thailand and brought them back to Laos. I call them Spiky Butt Fruits because well.... they are spiky, and inside they look like butts. And of course:

Durian, The King of Fruits.

If you're unfamiliar with the legendary Durian, let me introduce you. Durians are famous for two reasons: they are very popular in Asia, and they smell like shit. They smell bad enough that they are supposedly banned in public places, with an emphasis on supposedly. Airports, trains, wherever, I saw (or smelled) plenty of people eating Durian. The fruit itself is often described as a love-hate thing, with 95% of westerners falling on the "hate" side. Did I try it? Yes. Did it taste good? No. It tastes like a gorillas armpit.

There are a ton more weird lookin' things so if you're curious just google Southeast Asian fruits. Needless to say they are all absolutely fucking delicious and I ate them as much as possible. David and Ressa were initially huge vagina's about eating and one of their safety measures was no fresh fruit. You'd have to be a fucking idiot to follow that for long (they didn't). Take my advice--eat the fruit.

I'd consider everything mentioned so far to be pretty normal. If you can't eat this stuff then go to Europe, they have very advanced hotdog cuisine. As for me, I'll gladly try just about anything once. Eating exotic foods is at its least an adrenaline rush, at its best a discovery. Sometimes you eat something and you're just floored by how unexpectedly good it is.

Bats On a Stick

But not by these. These little bats were bought off the side of the road in bumfuck nowhere from some mountain people. Worth a try, but nothing speical. Note: the head doesn't taste very good.

Skewered Pregnant Mouse

This is probably the only thing on the entire trip that I saw and opted not to eat. You can't really see it but it's a pregnant mouse with the babies still inside. Tony's Dad's expression about sums it up.

Snack Food

One night I came home absolutely hammered from a nightclub (story forthcoming) and found these waiting in the Drug Mansion. I was shoving them in by the handful. Really really good. Or maybe I was just really really drunk.

More bugs

Bugs without herbs are actually kind of bland. They're all fried and crispy, so they pretty much taste like potato chips with legs.

And of course, there was dog.