Vientiane

Vientiane is a remarkable city. It stands in stark contrast with other big SE Asian cities like Bangkok and Saigon. No neon lights. No choking traffic. No hecklers hawking cheap trinkets. The pace of life is slow, quiet, peaceful. It doesn't feel like a big city at all.

While Bangkok and Saigon have their own charms, they are clearly East-West fusions. They've got shopping malls with the same trendy euro-fashions you'd find anywhere else in the world, McDonalds, KFC, etc.

None of that is in Laos. Vientiane just feels... Original East, like they've got their own thing going and they are sticking to it.

Part of my enjoyment was I had absolutely no fucking clue where we were going--and I didn't need to. Tony's uncle, Lum Vat, our driver and companion for five days, would just stop somewhere, shoo us out of the tuc-tuc, point in some direction... and off we'd go.  The stress of navigating in a foreign country--which I'd deal with later--was completely absent.

Lum Vat deserves some mention because he sticks out from the rest of Tony's family.  Tony's mom comes from a family of 14 bros and sisters. A few live in the U.S, a few in Canada, and the rest in Laos.  All of them seem to be part of the Lao Upper Class, or at least doing well. They are apartment landlords, property owners, high-ranking government officials (one aunt was the Minister of Education), one was a police-officer, etc. And Lum Vat drives a Tuc-Tuc for tourists. I'm not trying to be condescending in any way--just noting the difference. It's not a high-paying job. As I'd later find out, there is a bit more to this story. I'll tell ya later. Or SMELL ya later. HAH.

Aww yeah, I figured out how to write captions. Left to right: Tony, Me, Lum Vat, Stupid Ressa, David.

Also, Lum Vat is a complete badass. Just look at him. Not pictured is the tattoo of a dragon on his arm.  He also has one extremely long finger nail on each pinky--fuck if I know why, probably to pick his nose. Or kill people.  Again, a bit different then Tony's fatter, richer uncles (who were also awesome).

So we went around and saw all the usual touristy Buddhist temples, which was enjoyable but not worth your time. Once you've seen one you've seen them all. But I have to say, Buddhist art is fucking sweet.

LOOK AT THAT! Is this the concept art for Alien or a religious symbol? RADICAL!

Which brings me to my favorite place: Buddha park. Now, If there is one thing tourists love, it's statues they can take pictures of themselves in front of. And that's all Buddha park is. So you'd expect it to be crowded right? WRONG. I saw like three people there. There are parts of Laos that are VERY touristy, but Vientiane is not one of them, which is half of why it's so great. Also, it only costs 25 cents to get in.

See? Deserted.

I want all the doors in my house to look like this.

 I wonder how many people have died climbing this?

World's biggest Buddha, meet Worlds Coolest Dude

My spirit animal

Look closely. His shoes are made of sharks.

Seriously, how cool are Buddhists? It's like they discovered LSD 2000 years before us. You know why kids don't go to church anymore? Because there aren't any dragons, or people wearing shoes made of sharks. Also, the pictures suck. Oh look, it's Jesus dying again. Haven't seen that one before.

Anyway, where was I? 

All this religious talk is making me bored. Let's talk about something important for a change.

I'm speaking, of course, about FOOD.